WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
