I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
