We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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