I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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