Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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