Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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