Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
