I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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