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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?

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• (212): View more from New York

  I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet

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