I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
