WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
