We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
