What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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