just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
