i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
