I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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