My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
