if you like me you must not know who I am
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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