I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize