let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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