If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
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