I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I can't turn off my feet"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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