she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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