hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
