In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
