Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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