shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
