I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
