Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
