with your own penis?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
