Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
