I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize