Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
