So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
