my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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