A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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