he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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