i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
