Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
