Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
