I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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