that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Randomize
