every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
