I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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