Your tits are I can't wait for
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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