He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
where am i from again
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
