I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
