I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
