uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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