this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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