Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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