Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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