you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
