the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
