i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
