I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
