So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
