He is such a slut. More and more my type.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
