i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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