Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
