perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
