Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
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