So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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