"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
