Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
