i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
