who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
